don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Randomize