How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
