I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sarcasm needs its own font
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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