also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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