hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm passing your future prison.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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