What a fucking waste of an outfit
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
