i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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