and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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