I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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