You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
