I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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