dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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