So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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