yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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