HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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