He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
