It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
