I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
