franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
