no, he came in my armpit
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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