We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
