My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
