are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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