It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
bring money and cleavage
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
