dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He kissed a someone with a penis
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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