nut hugger
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
