When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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