Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
