Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
