how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
