sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
