Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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