Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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