That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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