We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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