Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
