How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
