High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
