The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I look better un-naked...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
