Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
