Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
