I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
