Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize