I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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