does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think people are normalizing furries
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
