Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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