Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
