my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
