I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
