I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
