You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
