is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
