Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
